Monday, March 10, 2014


Image size 6" x 6"
My heart is broken.  We lost our best friend on Friday.  We had been preparing for this day since we found out in early February that he had a malignant melanoma on his foot that had metastasized to his lung. He was almost 14 1/2 years old which is pretty old for such a large dog, but that's little consolation.  We got him from the animal shelter when he was 10 months old and he lived with us for 13 1/2 years.  Sampson was the best dog.  He was a German Shepherd/Rottweiler mix.  He looked scary, sounded scary and was as sweet and mellow as a huge teddy bear.  He was my shadow and I miss him terribly.  I painted this today as a tribute to him.  I should have waited longer before painting his portrait because it was much harder to do than I thought it would be and I'm sure some of my tears are mixed in with the paint.  I still need to do some finishing touches on it but it's making me too sad to work on it today.

Years ago, I saw this story written by T'mara Goodsell and it really touched my heart.
Best Dog in the World
By T'Mara Goodsell

One's first love is always perfect until one meets one's second love.
~Elizabeth Aston

Years ago, I owned the very best dog in the world.

I was a child when we got her. She was a graceful brown hound, a foundling who taught me that our pets are not purchased, but ordained.

She romped when I did and knew how to smile in that funny way that only some dogs have. She grew up with me, always there when I needed her. My grown hand still remembers the sleek bump on the top of her head and that gentle divot just past her nose that fit my index finger just perfectly.

She passed away during one of my college vacations. My heart broke then, and I knew that there would never be another dog like her, and there hasn't been. I was sure that I could never love another dog as much as I'd loved her.

Fortunately, I was wrong about that part.

My next dog came into my life when I was married. My husband traveled for a living, and I was often lonely. This dog grew into a lumbering Wolfhound and Sheepdog mix who taught me patience. He was a large, grizzled sentry, that dog. He rarely left my side until the children were born, and then he became their guardian, too. I can still feel that swirl of fur along his back and the  weight of his chin when it rested in my lap.

When he passed away, my heart broke. As much as I had loved that childhood dog, I had been wrong. This was the very best dog in the world. There would never be another dog like him, and there hasn' t been. I was sure I would
never love another dog as much as I'd loved him.

I was wrong again.

We got the next one, a loping black Lab-and-Terrier mix, when the children were little. He taught me the importance of adapting. He was everyone's dog from the beginning, and that was just as it should be. When he played tug of war with the children, he dragged them across the kitchen floor as they shrieked with laughter. He always seemed to sleep in the room of the child who needed his company the most..

These days his face is expressively gray, and he spends more time with me since the almost-grown children aren't around so much. The other day my oldest, home from college, played tug of war. We all laughed--just a little--as the dog was gently pulled across the kitchen floor.

He is, of course, the very best dog in the world. I will never forget that exquisitely soft tuft of fur behind his ears or the tickly feel when he nuzzles. There won't be another dog like him.

And that's okay, because we will never be at this point in our lives again.

Sometimes I've wondered why two species that get along so well should have such different life spans. It just doesn't seem right. And then I wonder if that's part of the lesson: To teach us that love itself has a spirit that returns again and again and never really dies.

It's amazing, in a way, how they bring to our ever-changing lives exactly what it is that we need at the moment. They make room for one another, this family of dogs who has never even met. And they fit--into our families, into our lives, into our memories, and into our hearts--because they always have been and always will be the best dogs in the world.


  1. Nancy, I am heartbroken to hear that you lost Sam. My condolences to you and may Sam rest in peace. I am so sorry.

  2. Oh Nancy...I am so sorry to hear this. Poor Sam...and poor Goldmans. My heart breaks for you and your shared essay/poem was beautiful and oh so heartbreaking too.

    1. Thank you Sherry. I know you understand the heartbreak of losing a dog.

  3. Nancy, I can't tell you how very sorry I am about Sam.
    I know how much it hurts, it's such a painful loss.
    Yes, my Angie girl left me 2 years ago.. I took her from the shelter at 5 years old, and she was by my side until she reached almost 17.
    The story of the 'best dog' seems so in tune with what I've been feeling for the past 2 years. But I cannot do it again. Age (mine) plays a big factor in that decision.
    Thank you for sharing with us..
    It takes time.. it gets easier but you never forget the memories.. hugs BJ

    1. Dogs wiggle into our hearts immediately and never leave. I'm sorry to hear about Angie and know how lonely you are without her.

  4. Oh Nancy I am so sorry to hear about Sam. It is so hard to lose a best friend and member of the family. His spirit will endure however always warm and safe in your hear. The poem is beautiful as well. You are lucky to have had so many years and memories. Hang in there, it will get better - never forgotten, but hurts a bit less.

  5. I'm so sorry to hear you've lost this treasured member of your family. I hope that some day this memorial you created of him will make you smile rather than sad.

  6. Nancy, so sorry for your loss. Sam looks very sweet in his portrait. Thanks for sharing the story. I find it to be true. Didn't think I would be attached to another dog until Angel moved in 3 years ago. Hope that healing comes to you soon, the loss of a dog is just unbearable.

    1. Thank you Amy. I know we will get another dog and will love him too.

  7. My heart goes out to you Nancy. My dog is advanced age now (going on 16) and starting to have some health issues. And mentally, I know I am preparing myself, as best as I can. I know the day will come, sooner than I want it to, but it will come. I don't know how I will face it, but I will. He is my best buddy and right now, I know that every day is precious with him. It is hard to say goodbye but I do believe they are waiting for us on the other side. And as I always say "they are never far away when they are in our hearts." Hugs to you.

    1. It's true that they are in our hearts forever. I hope your 'pup' lives a lot longer and that you can spoil him and make his senior years as comfortable as possible. Dogs are a special gift to humans.

  8. So sorry for your loss Nancy! I am sure you will love another dog, just as the story you shared


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